Balloonery Buffoonery!

I hate balloons in packets,

    red ones are the worst.

I hate them being blown up,

   it scares me when they burst.

     They’re nastically plasticky,

     they’re ballistically blasticky,

     they’re drastically nasticky,

     they’re bloodthirstically bombasticky!

I hate balloons at parties

   if they’re in the hands of boys.

Or if the magician twists an animal

   and there’s that squeaky balloony noise.

      It’s excruciatingly nauseating,

      it’s frustratingly abominating,

      it’s gratingly penetrating,

      it’s inflatingly aggravating!

I hate balloons at Christmas

   when they’re dangling from the tree.

I shove my fingers in my ears,

   in case they pop and scare me.

      They’re ponderously wonderous,

      they’re plunderously sunderous,

      they’re murderously blunderous,

      they’re gunpowderously thunderous!

(I’m the only balloonophobic in the balloonophobicphonebook!)

John Rice

The author encourages parents, teachers and librarians to read the poems to children and young people. However, the poems are copyright John Rice 2014 and cannot be reproduced without the express permission of the author.