Balloonery Buffoonery!
I hate balloons in packets,
red ones are the worst.
I hate them being blown up,
it scares me when they burst.
They’re nastically plasticky,
they’re ballistically blasticky,
they’re drastically nasticky,
they’re bloodthirstically bombasticky!
I hate balloons at parties
if they’re in the hands of boys.
Or if the magician twists an animal
and there’s that squeaky balloony noise.
It’s excruciatingly nauseating,
it’s frustratingly abominating,
it’s gratingly penetrating,
it’s inflatingly aggravating!
I hate balloons at Christmas
when they’re dangling from the tree.
I shove my fingers in my ears,
in case they pop and scare me.
They’re ponderously wonderous,
they’re plunderously sunderous,
they’re murderously blunderous,
they’re gunpowderously thunderous!
(I’m the only balloonophobic in the balloonophobicphonebook!)
John Rice
The author encourages parents, teachers and librarians to read the poems to children and young people. However, the poems are copyright John Rice 2014 and cannot be reproduced without the express permission of the author.
Random Poetry!
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I Can’t Go To School ‘Cause…
I can’t go to school ‘cause my lungs are freezing,got a drowsy chest and my toes are sneezing.
I can’t go to school ‘cause my tongue is itchy,my elbow’s crooked and my funny bone’s twitchy.
I can’t go to school, my toenails are aching,my kneecaps are tender and my kidneys are shaking.
I can’t go to school ‘cause I tend to forget,my skull falls asleep then my teeth get upset.
I can’t go to school; my breakfast is filling me,my belly’s all bubbly and this headache is killing me.
I can’t go to school – I’ve got nothing to talk about;my tongue’s all twisted and my legs have gone walkabout.
I can’t go to school ‘cause my nose is too roomy,my shins are in sorrow and my eyes are so gloomy.
I can’t go to school ‘cause my lips are kind-hearted,my left leg is lumpy and my bones have departed.
I can’t go to school ‘cause my eyesight’s patchy,my ears are disturbed and my big toe’s scratchy.
I can’t go to school ‘cause my blood’s become chewymy feet are fine but my fingers bamboo-ey.
I can’t go to school ‘cause my chin is elsewhere,my backside’s swollen and I’ve got sore hair.
I can’t go to school ‘cause my eyes are all puffy,my throat’s got thinner and my bellybutton’s fluffy.
I just can’t go to school; I can’t take any more,my brain has drained and my heart is sore.
John Rice
The author encourages parents, teachers and librarians to read the poems to children and young people. However, the poems are copyright John Rice 2014 and cannot be reproduced without the express permission of the author.
