Poet John Rice is frightened by gnomes. But that's ok, he is excited by poetry, storytelling, the oral tradition and Celtic folk usually!
You are small, bearded, and you give children nightmares.
Oh, you may think that your disguise is clever. You may think that playing the harp makes you seem cuddly and playful. But we all know what’s going on inside that pointy little head of yours… thoughts of world domination and clashing colours!

Yes, it’s not so hard to figure you out from the answers you gave. I had you pegged from the third one. I knew, right then, that your so-called poetry was about crawling around under people’s beds and moving their slippers. I knew that you were the type of person – yes you, Bethany Shields, which is your name, I knew that YOU were the sort to go burrowing around in basements looking for Celtic instruments with which to play distant music that would make me yearn for gnome… I mean, home.

Well it’s not working. I don’t own a red hat and I never will. I will never set one of my gnoems – I mean, poems – to shuffleboard music. And I refuse to wear tights – even if they ARE green.

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