John Rice visits schools, libraries and other educational facilities to perform his storytelling and poetry show.

I Can’t Go To School ‘Cause…



I can’t go to school ‘cause my lungs are freezing,

got a drowsy chest and my toes are sneezing.


I can’t go to school ‘cause my tongue is itchy,

my elbow’s crooked and my funny bone’s twitchy.


I can’t go to school, my toenails are aching,

my kneecaps are tender and my kidneys are shaking.


I can’t go to school ‘cause I tend to forget,

my skull falls asleep then my teeth get upset.


I can’t go to school; my breakfast is filling me,

my belly’s all bubbly and this headache is killing me.


I can’t go to school – I’ve got nothing to talk about;

my tongue’s all twisted and my legs have gone walkabout.


I can’t go to school ‘cause my nose is too roomy,

my shins are in sorrow and my eyes are so gloomy.


I can’t go to school ‘cause my lips are kind-hearted,

my left leg is lumpy and my bones have departed.


I can’t go to school ‘cause my eyesight’s patchy,

my ears are disturbed and my big toe’s scratchy.


I can’t go to school ‘cause my blood’s become chewy

my feet are fine but my fingers bamboo-ey.


I can’t go to school ‘cause my chin is elsewhere,

my backside’s swollen and I’ve got sore hair.


I can’t go to school ‘cause my eyes are all puffy,

my throat’s got thinner and my bellybutton’s fluffy.


I just can’t go to school; I can’t take any more,

my brain has drained and my heart is sore.



John Rice


The author encourages parents, teachers and librarians to read the poems to children and young people. However, the poems are copyright John Rice 2014 and cannot be reproduced without the express permission of the author.

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