John Rice is busy being silly with his poetry quiz
It is very clear to me that your main poetry skill lies in not writing poetry, ever.
Certainly, you are very handsome. And your ears have a quality to them that I suppose some people would find highly interesting. But poetry? No – better stick to prose.

You like stick insects, you go on holiday to Wales, and you have three cats all named Smiffy. But that doesn’t make you a poet. It makes you almost embarrassingly beautiful to behold, but there’s more to rhyming than your supremely attractive toes and your delicate nostrils.

I say this – take your blue shoes, and run to the nearest novelist to ask for a job. Because poetry is not your gig, no sirree Bob.

One last thing – is that a wig?

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